Impacting Our Children During the Holidays

Click here to see my article, 7 Ways for Dads to Teach Spiritual Lessons During the Holidays in The Old Schoolhouse Magazine

Simple Ways to Remember Christ this December

Everybody is rushing this time of year.  Last Friday, we had an outpatient surgery, a basketball game, a piano recital, and a choir rehearsal all in one day.  Whew! 

We all need simple ways to help us reflect on Jesus during the December days.  As we go about the weeks before Christmas, let's take time to worship Christ in our spirits - and take opportunities to share Him with others.

 

Some simple things that help me experience Jesus in the midst of a busy December . . .

1.  Make sure and start every day with the Lord - with some prayer and Bible meditation.  I often remember Johnny Hunt's words, "If you give your time to the Redeemer, He will redeem your time."
 

2.  I love Christmas music, as does my family.  However, in the midst of the "fun" holiday music, I keep a CD or two in my car or computer of Christmas music that says a lot about the Lord.  For my personal tastes and wiring, no Christmas music helps me worship Jesus any more than the classical kind.  I keep CD's handy of The Robert Shaw Chorale and the St. Olaf Choir.  They bless me greatly  as they sing classic Christmas carols about the Lord - His redemption, incarnation, birth, holiness, etc.  My tastes may not be yours - but find something that helps your spirit worship Jesus - even in the midst of holiday rush.  Today I was listening to BEAUTIFUL STAR by The Centurymen.

3.  I keep some easy reading handy - on my desk, in my bathroom, in my backpack, in our den.  By easy reading I mean Christian writing that is not too elaborate.  I have a few simple books by Max Lucado, Jack Hayford, and others that contain simple meditations that can be read in 2-5 minutes.  I read one this morning over breakfast on Jesus being the Bread of Life, and my mind and spirit have meditated on it all morning as I have been doing other things.  One of my favorites is Come . . . and Behold Him! by Pastor Jack Hayford.

 

4.  It always helps me in December, after everyone has gone to bed, to sit down by the lit tree for just a few minutes and "be still and know that [He] is God."  A few quiet moments to reflect, give Him thanks, and perhaps read a few Scriptures.

Perhaps these simple things may help you, in the midst of the holiday rush, to connect with Christ.  It is as we connect with Him that we have something to share with others.

5 Insights for Healthy Relationships

Charles Swindoll, one of my favorite Bible teachers and authors, shares 5 insights for healthy family relationships.  The same goes true for friendships and church relationships . . .

 

 

1.  Biblical principles are more important than traditional opinions.

2.  Personal relationships are more valuable than individual accomplishments.

3.  Domestic priorities rate higher than church programs.

4.  Positive reinforcement is better than negative reaction.

5.  Unconditional forgiveness is much preferred to lingering probation.

Quotation of the Day

Even active students receive only forty hours or so of biblical instruction from their churches. Parents, on the other hand, have more than 3000 hours a year in which they’re constantly “teaching” their children in some way! Our church recognized that—if we wanted to see an emerging generation that loves God with everything in them—we would have to redirect our ministry’s time and energies toward equipping parents to impress truth in their children’s lives day-by-day.

- Jay Strother

Thoughts on the Family-Equipping Model

In the Family-Equipping Ministry Model, many semblances of age-organized ministry remain intact. In some cases, the family-equipping church might even retain a youth minister or a children’s minister. Yet church leaders plan every ministry to champion the place of parents as primary disciple-makers in their children’s lives, asking at every level of the church’s ministry, “How can we best equip families to become fundamental units of discipleship and evangelism?” At the same time, parents recognize the church as a community that’s been called to participate actively in the discipleship of all believers, including children. The church equips parents to disciple their children, and the parents recognize the church as an active partner in this process. Whereas family-based churches develop intergenerational events and activities within current structures, family-equipping ministry reworks the church’s entire structure to call parents to disciple their children at every level of the church’s ministry. Every aspect of the congregation’s life consciously “co-champions” the church’s ministry and parental responsibility.

In many ways the family-equipping model represents a middle route between the family-integrated and family-based models. Semblances of age-organized ministry remain intact in family-equipping contexts. Many family-equipping churches even retain youth ministers and children’s ministers. Yet every practice at every level of ministry is reworked to champion the place of parents as primary disciple-makers in their children’s lives. Because parents are primary disciple-makers and vital partners in family-equipping ministry, every activity for children or youth must resource, train, or directly involve parents.

To envision the family-equipping model in action, imagine a river with large stones jutting through the surface of the water. The river represents the Christian growth and development of children in the church. One riverbank signifies the church, and the other riverbank connotes the family. Both banks are necessary for the river to flow forward with focus and power. Unless both riverbanks support the child’s development, you are likely to end up with the destructive power of a deluge instead of the constructive possibilities of a river. The stones that guide and redirect the river currents represent milestones or rites of passage that mark the passing of key points of development that the church and families celebrate together.

- Dr. Timothy Paul Jones, The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary

Family-Equipping Ministry

Timothy Paul Jones coined the term family-equipping ministry to describe the family ministry paradigm that he and Randy Stinson developed for the School of Church Ministries at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. Soon afterward, Randy Stinson located and brought together an informal coalition of ministers who were doing in practice precisely what he and Jones had sketched out in theory. Leading early practitioners of the family-equipping model included Jay Strother at Brentwood Baptist Church in Tennessee, Brian Haynes at Kingsland Baptist Church in Texas, and Steve Wright at Providence Baptist Church in North Carolina (1).

In many ways the family-equipping model represents a middle route between the family-integrated and family-based models (2). Semblances of age-organized ministry remain intact in family-equipping contexts. Many family-equipping churches even retain youth ministers and children’s ministers. Yet every practice at every level of ministry is reworked to champion the place of parents as primary disciple-makers in their children’s lives. Because parents are primary disciple-makers and vital partners in family-equipping ministry, every activity for children or youth must resource, train, or directly involve parents (3).

Whereas family-based churches develop intergenerational activities within existing segmented-programmatic structures and add family activities to current calendars, family-equipping churches redevelops the congregation’s structure to cultivate a renewed culture wherein parents are acknowledged, trained, and held accountable as the primary faith-trainers in their children’s lives. As in family-integrated churches, children whose parents are unbelievers are connected with mature believers in the types of relationships that Paul described in his letter to Titus (Titus 2:1-8). Every level of the congregation’s life is consciously recultured to “co-champion” the church’s ministry and the parent’s responsibility.

To envision the family-equipping model in action, imagine a river with large stones jutting through the surface of the water. The river represents the Christian growth and development of children in the church. One riverbank signifies the church, and the other riverbank connotes the family. Both banks are necessary for the river to flow forward with focus and power. Unless both riverbanks support the child’s development, you are likely to end up with the destructive power of a deluge instead of the constructive possibilities of a river. The stones that guide and redirect the river currents represent milestones or rites of passage that mark the passing of key points of development that the church and families celebrate together.

Most of the authors whose contributions appear on these pages view family-equipping ministry as the ideal. At the same time, the principles that they present will be useful far beyond family-equipping churches, particularly in family-integrated and family-based contexts. Even segmented-programmatic and educational-programmatic ministries may find this text helpful as they seek to develop theological foundations for their ministries to families.

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(1) For the model as practiced by these ministers, see Jay Strother, “Family-Equipping Ministry: Co-champions with a Single Goal,” in Perspectives on Family Ministry, ed. Timothy Paul Jones (Nashville: B&H, 2009); Brian Haynes, Shift: What it Takes to Finally Reach Families Today (Loveland, CO: Group Publishing, 2009); Steve Wright with Chris Graves, reThink: Is Student Ministry Working? (Raleigh: InQuest, 2007).

(2) Much that is found in Think Orange: Imagine the Impact When Church and Family Collide (Colorado Springs: Cook, 2009) fits in the overlap between the family-based and family-equipping paradigms, at least from an organizational and programmatic perspective; many of the associated publications may be helpful in resourcing the development of family-based and family-equipping ministries. The content and approach of materials from The reThink Group seem in many cases to be driven more by ecclesial pragmatism than by substantive theological or biblical considerations.

(3) For the “resource, train, involve” principle as well as the term “co-champion,” see Steve Wright with Chris Graves, reThink: Is Student Ministry Working? (Raleigh: InQuest, 2007).
[Editor's Note: This article was adapted from the book Trained in the Fear of God, edited by Randy Stinson and Timothy Paul Jones. Used by permission.]

What is Family Ministry?

The process of intentionally and persistently realigning a congregation's proclamation and practices so that parents are acknowledged, trained, and held accountable as the persons primarily responsible for the discipleship of their children.

- from Perspectives on Family Ministry: Three Views, ed. Timothy Jones

What's Wrong with Current Church Structures?

Insightful fourteen-minute video from leaders of the School of Church Ministries at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. What's Wrong With Current Church Structures?

Is Boredome OK?

The founder of Young Life once commented, "It's a sin to bore a kid with the gospel."

In response to this attitude, Mark DeVries says, "It might be more of a sin to suggest to young people that the Christian life is always fun and never boring. Keeping teenagers from ever being bored in their faith can actually deprive them of opportunities to develop the discipline and perseverance needed to live the Christian life. It is precisely in those experiences that teenagers might describe as 'boring' that Christian character is often formed."

- Taken from Timothy Jones' Perspectives on Family Ministry

I say amen, and amen!

Family Ministry Today

There have been three driving convictions for me the past year as to what this church should be about:

1) An emphasis on the Bible basics of preaching-teaching, worship, fellowship, and prayer.

2) The experiencing of God in the community of small group structures.

3) A family-equipping model of ministry. (One of the seeds God planted in me last year was while Tracey and I were attending a family-equipping church and family conference.)

We began this year with a solid, initial approach to implementing #1. In January we hope to begin implementing #2.

Recently, through the reading of two different books - one by Johnny Hunt and the other Wayne Cordiero, I was face to face with the same advice. As a leader, find out what the 5% is that you alone can do for your organization, and make sure that you are giving the best time to that 5% - not to the 95% of other things that other people can be trained, equipped, and released to do.

Pondering the question, What is my 5% for The Spring?, I knew with conviction that part of that 5% is guiding the church toward a family-equipping model. As your leader, I am committed to shaping this church towards a family-equipping approach.

In the weeks and months ahead, I will educate us more as to what is meant by a family-equipping model. Right now, the Steering Team is reading a book to help us in that entitled Perspectives on Family Ministry by Timothy Jones, professor at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary (SBTS).

I am gladdened that SBTS' School of Church Ministry is giving leadership in this area by trying to educate, equip, and encourage churches towards a family-equipping ministry. Just yesterday I found their blog entitled Family Ministry Today: The Center for Christian Family Ministry at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary:

http://www.sbts.edu/family/

I strongly encourage you to check out their blog, familiarize yourself with it, and begin learning for yourself about the model of family-equipping ministry. Check out the video on the front page called What is the Problem with Current Church Structures?

A family-equipping model is not just another program or fad that we may try for a while until something else comes along. It is, instead, a philosophy of how to structure a church in order to best equip families spiritually.

It is not a decoration issue. It is a blueprint issue.

I look forward to how God will lead us to become a family-equipping church. Last night we already made a solid step forward. Parents and grandparents received a Parent Handbook from Group Publishing that goes along with the lessons your children and youth are receiving on Wednesday nights. Parents and grandparents are encouraged to use that handbook to talk with your children and teens at home this week about our first lesson from our Faithweaver material. When we move to Sunday School on Sunday mornings, we will all be studying the same lessons. That is a solid, simple approach.

Guiding Children to Worship

Here is a good resource for parents. Robbie Castleman's Parenting in the Pew offers practical advice for parents in training their children to not only sit quietly in church services but also to participate.

"Daddy, I'd like you to meet my children." That's Robbie Castleman's attitude about taking her children to church. She believes that Sunday morning isn't a success if she has only managed to keep the kids quiet. And she knows there's more to church for kids than trying out their new coloring books. Children are at church for the same reason as their parents: for the privilege of worshiping God. Worship, Castleman writes, is "the most important thing you can ever train your child to do." So with infectious passion, nitty-gritty advice and a touch of humor, she shows you how to help your children (from toddlers to teenagers) enter into worship. In this expanded edition Castleman includes two new appendixes on the important issues of hyperactive children in worship and children's church for seekers. She also provides a study guide for personal reflection or group discussion. More than ever, Parenting in the Pew is essential reading for parents and worship leaders who want to help children make joyful noises unto the Lord.