The first year or our marriage, I introduced my wife to madness. March Madness.
My father was an avid sports fan, and sounds of
basketball games filled our house yearly over March weekends. The first year I took an interest, my
freshman year of high school, was 1988.
The Final Four took place in Kansas City, Missouri, with
Kansas, Duke, Oklahoma, and Arizona competing.
I can still hear the commercials playing the song, “We’re going to
Kansas City, Kansas City here I come.”
My wife and I are not big sports fans. We never watch the Super Bowl, football
hardly interests us, and neither of us know the difference between an
outside linebacker, a safety, and a halfback.
And we don’t care to.

Through the years my wife and I have slowly and
subtly passed on the fever to our children.
My daughter enjoys sitting down beside us on Saturday afternoons and
watching a good Kentucky, Duke, or UNC game.

Every family needs some rallying points. We all desire points of commonality. One of the attractions of gangs for so many
tweenagers and teenagers is that it gives them a sense of belonging.
Wise parents build what some parenting experts call
“family identity” into their team.
Interests, passions, habits, and a culture make your family unique and
create your own identity. Reasons to
celebrate together. Experiences that
will stand out twenty years from now as your children remember the pictures in
their minds.
For years, I have told my children, “You are my
favorite people in the whole world. I
would rather be with you and your mom than anybody else. There is no one I have a better time with
than you guys.”
Find specific things to celebrate as a family. Create fun, meaningful habits.
The Wilson family reads biographies together. We watch in-order series of good television
shows like Andy Griffith, The Waltons, and
The Road to Avonlea. We go to hear the symphony and Broadway
shows. We collect magnets and post cards
from places we travel. On Tuesday nights
we pray for “two friends each.” On
Thursdays we practice “Thankful Heart Thursday,” specifically thanking God for
blessings. We play tennis and take bike
rides. In the summer we explore
waterfalls. We eat pizza on
Saturday. We like to eat at California
Dreaming on special occasions. And we
become serious basketball fans for one month every March.
Our kids need a winning team. Dads and moms, we are the coaches. What are we doing to build family identity and make them want to be a part of the team?
Our kids need a winning team. Dads and moms, we are the coaches. What are we doing to build family identity and make them want to be a part of the team?
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