Out with the Old, Embracing the New

We bought the television from Kmart in Taylors in 1988. Long before flat screens or digital technology, this set included the turn knobs and required the antenna wires to be wrapped around the screws on the back of the tv. I watched many a show on that set while I lived at home. My mother – not one to be abreast of the latest technology – just got rid of this set one month ago. I surprised her with a new flat-screen television in early December, and we unplugged the old set that served our family for thirty years. I left the set at the dump to be released into 1980’s household electronics after-life.

Moving into another year involves letting go of old things and embracing some new ones. For me, the first couple of week of January include getting my mind in gear as I shift from the holidays into the winter of another calendar year.

I love the sights, sounds, routines, and excesses of Christmas. And partly because of my melancholy temperament, I find my spirit somewhat deflated the week or two after Christmas as the decorations go down and the feasting turns into dieting!

I find it helpful to embrace disciplines early in January, turn my mind into preparing for a productive year, and set my spirit to seek the Lord afresh.

Here are five suggestions to help embrace a mindset of moving forward towards a successful year:

1. Make time to pray.

January offers a good time to retool my prayer life. Spend extra time in prayer and Bible meditation. Ask the Holy Spirit, Prepare my mind and spirit to walk with Jesus this year. Lead me in Your will and purposes. Let Your Word find a fresh home in my heart and your hands mold this clay as You wish.

Some Christians ask the Lord the first few weeks of January to put a word on their mind and heart for the new year. They ask, Lord, give to me a word, Scripture, or idea to be a theme for me in the coming days.

2. Make plans to grow.

I try and start my year by reading some positive instructional and motivational material. Stretch yourself with some plans to read.  By reading (or listening via digital audio resources) 30 minutes a day I can easily finish a book a week. Turn off the television and pick up some books! This week I chose five books to dig into this month:

The Power of Purpose by Michael Catt

A Resilient Life by Gordon MacDonald

On Reading Well by Karen Prior

Wilderness Wanderings by Bill Lawrence

It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way by Lysa Terkeurst

3. Get organized.

As the decorations come down and a sense of tidiness arises, I decide afresh what in my life and family needs to be tackled organizationally. As taxes loom on the horizon, January always seems a good time to gather appropriate financial records. I loaded my Turbo Tax program on my laptop on December 29.

But, with a fresh surge of inspiration, I also ask what other areas need attention. This year I am diligently working to make sure my external hard drive backup is up-to-date. For me this includes tediously going through several saved and recovered backups from previous crashes and collecting everything I want to keep in one digital location.

This undertaking also involves deleting some of those unnecessary pictures (who really needs 30,000 pics of their family!!!) and organizing them into useful files. If I can never access them, they don’t help me.

Maybe you should work on a new system for your personal calendar, remembering birthdays of people you love, storing your addresses, planning for a family vacation, or preparing to shop in more efficient ways.

4. Review.

January offers a logical time to review some big-picture items from the previous year. I take some time to reconsider my journal entries from last year, asking the Holy Spirit to show me anything He wants me to remember.

You can ask questions like the following as you review: Are there recurring themes in my life from last year? What promises from God’s Word meant the most to you? What were your most meaningful moments with the Lord? What were you trusting God for last year? What was going on in your heart? What failures did you experience? Review any areas of neglect or disobedience. Did you let anything drop the Lord gave to you? Note any high or low points in your entries.

5. Set goals and move forward.

As you have done numbers 1-4, ask the Lord to help you set goals in various areas of life for 2019. Just like moving forward with a flat screen television meant I had to let go of the old set, we may have to let go of some things from 2018 – good and bad.

We didn't achieve every goal from last year. We made some poor choices. We have room to grow. But, we made progress in other areas and learned valuable lessons.

Where do I want to take my family this year? What books will we read as a family? What's a plan for leading some family devotions this year? How can I intentionally build into a meaningful relationship? What work skills do I need to add or improve? How can I better use my time?

As we learn from the past, let’s set our focus to learn new things from the Lord, trust Him today, and accomplish His purposes in our lives in this fresh year.

I’ve just started Michael Catt’s book The Power of Purpose. In the Introduction, he writes, “As long as God is on the throne, there is hope. . . . Whatever you are facing, look it in the face and look God in the face and ask Him what He wants you to learn. Wherever you are, it’s not an accident. God can take a setback and turn it into a stepping stone. . . . I believe hope and purpose are tired together. If I have a sense of purpose, I have hope. If I have hope, I have a sense of purpose. Purpose matters. . . . God didn’t place us here and wish us good luck. He didn’t make us in His image to be a victim of circumstances. He put us here to be overcomers.”

Sign up for Rhett’s e-newsletter, Faith, Family, and Freedom here

Pictures used by permission from Pixabay

10 Questions to Ask at the Start of a New Year

The first days of January offer a great time for evaluation, reflection, and planning.  The following is a helpful article by Donald Whitney.  

"Once, when the people of God had become careless in their relationship with Him, the Lord rebuked them through the prophet Haggai. 'Consider your ways!' (Haggai 1:5) he declared, urging them to reflect on some of the things happening to them, and to evaluate their slipshod spirituality in light of what God had told them. 

Even those most faithful to God occasionally need to pause and think about the direction of their lives. It’s so easy to bump along from one busy week to another without ever stopping to ponder where we’re going and where we should be going.

The beginning of a new year is an ideal time to stop, look up, and get our bearings. To that end, here are some questions to ask prayerfully in the presence of God."

Read the entire article, 10 Questions to Ask at the Start of a New Year or On Your Birthday, here.


Picture used by permission from Pixabay.

The Jealous King

 

He was a madman. He exiled or killed off all of his wives. A master of manipulation, he worked to gain the favor of the people above and below him. Known as a “ruthless fighter, a cunning negotiator, and a subtle diplomat,” (Nelson’s Bible Dictionary), he was the first of six King Herods, Roman rulers in Palestine around the time of Jesus’ life. The biblical account presents Herod the Great, a self-designated title, as the narcissist in the Christmas story. He was so bad that when people recognized the leadership potential of his son, the buzz around Jerusalem became, “Herod is great, but his son is greater.” To eliminate the competition, he ordered the assassination of his son.

In direct contrast to the magi, the joyous kings, who came to worship the newborn King of the Jews, Herod was the jealous king. The Herod spirit is an insecure, manipulative, self-serving one.

Narcissism, a term derived from Greek mythology, designates a person obsessed with themselves. Modern psychologists even designate a narcissist disorder for some people, though many people would simply be described as having narcissistic tendencies.

Unfortunately, the church is not immune from this reality. I’ve spent more than twenty years studying the effects of narcissistic ministry leaders on churches and people. I’ve seen it surface in a senior pastor. I’ve experienced it in a pastor’s wife (not my own!). I’ve seen it in a church treasurer. And likely, you may have too. The manipulation and politicking I’ve occasionally – not often – seen in churches by someone with narcissistic tendencies rival anything that happens in Washington, D.C.! And it leaves much damage in its wake.

Earlier this year I read Chuck DeGroat’s recent release from InterVarsity Press, “When Narcissism Comes to Church.” DeGroat offers several characteristics of the narcissistic ministry leader.

Decision-making centers on them. They must keep their hands in the decision-making, and they are offended and angered when people make decisions different than what they would choose.

Impatience and lack of ability to listen to others. He may call his impatience decisiveness, but he lacks curiosity, empathy, and compassion.

Delegating without giving authority. She wants people around her to carry out her wishes, resulting in micromanagement. She may call a team together and ask their opinions, but at the end of the day she instructs them to do what she wants in sundry subjective details.

Feeling threatened or intimidated by other talented people. DeGroat says they often “feign connection in order to woo followers.” They pour it on to people they want to sway, yet they are deeply threatened by someone who does not seem to need them.

Need to be the best and brightest in the room. The narcissistic ministry leader wants to outshine others. In a healthy team, when one person wins, it makes everyone look good. In an unhealthy one, jealousy and turf wars erupt when one person shines. The narcissist needs to be special, needed, and the hero. Henry Cloud writes in his new book, “Trust,” that narcissistic “people have a great investment in being seen as ‘ideal’ or ‘perfect.’ They must be adored and idealized by others in order to feel secure and trust.” A narcissistic parent will even feel threatened by the success of other people’s children and may even target them.

Intimidate others. Highly insecure, “they are always on the watch for disloyalty, and when they find it, they punish it severely.” They see their opinions, views, and the way they would do things as the “right” way. And they will not hesitate from using intimidation to try to back you down into your corner.

Praising and withdrawing. She will pour it on to praise the person that she feels approves or her, submits to her, and can be controlled by her. But watch ought if you disagree with her, because she cannot tolerate disagreement. To her, it is disrespect and worthy of correction. Her correction. When she realizes you will not be controlled, she withdraws – and often begins plotting how to get you out of her system.

The narcissist works hard to control themselves, their family, and those around them. However, staying in control will attack your spirit of joy. Herod was crazy in part because he would not give up control. He tried to perfect his life by controlling everyone around him. But the spirit of joy is in direct contrast to the spirit of Herod.

The Bible describes the magi, after their 1000-mile journey that likely took six to nine months, as being “filled with joy” (Matthew 2:10 NLT). Unlike Herod the Great, they focused on One even greater – the true King of Kings. Seeing themselves as one part of a much grander plan, they served others, valued input from others, and helped others to accomplish their goals.

And the young Child born in the manger modeled the opposite of the Herod spirit. The Creator of the universe came to earth as a vulnerable baby, needed to be carried, nourished, and helped by the very humans He created. Giving up His rights, and giving up any need for acclaim, He humbled Himself.

And because He did, you and I can know everlasting joy. The spirit of great joy comes from submitting to and worshiping the King of Kings - and serving others with your life. Give up your control and trust Him.

Read Lessons Learned from Church Hurt

Pictures used courtesy of Pixabay.

Letting Go of Christmas

Reposted from December 2013 . . .

It is always hard for me to let go of Christmas. 

The fall months are my favorite time of year – all leading up to Christ’s birthday.  For our family, the celebrations begin with birthdays for my wife and I in August and September.  Then each year fun marks October as our children pick out costumes to wear on Halloween.  As the bright leaves of October begin turning into November’s duller hues, my oldest son has a birthday the first week.  After that celebration, we anticipate Thanksgiving, trying each year to give the holiday more attention than simply one Turkey Day.  I pull out some CD’s with traditional Thanksgiving hymns, and we read stories of the Pilgrims.  Thanksgiving Day (or the weekend thereafter) our family works on our Thanksgiving tree, each one writing down specific matters of thanksgiving on construction-paper leaves. 

Thanksgiving afternoon includes Daddy pulling out the sale papers and making strategic plans for Black Friday!  Christmas is the only season when I really enjoy shopping (and when I give myself permission to really splurge and enjoy spending).  Black Friday finds me most years leaving the house hours before the rest of the family awake.  And over the course of that weekend, as Thanksgiving hymns give way to Christmas ones, the Advent season comes alive once again! 

Our family enjoys the various aspects of December.  Tree-decorating always stands out as one of our favorite experiences.  We love unpacking the various ornaments – many that we have forgotten since packing them eleven months ago – and enjoying the memories associated with them.  We have fun Hallmark collectibles ranging from superheroes, Disney characters, and movie nostalgia.  There are classy, blown-glass ornaments including Santas, manger scene people, and drummers from Colonial Williamsburg.  Small treasures adorn our tree as keepsakes from the places we have traveled – a clear holy family that we obtained at The Biltmore House on our honeymoon, a small Ryman Auditorium from Nashville, a beautiful one replicating the barn at The Billy Graham Library in Charlotte, and a red round ball with the inscription “Thomas Road Baptist Church” which we bought to remind us of our December-trips to Lynchburg, Virginia.  There are even ones that remind us of friends from long ago – childhood friends, our families of origin, a star that deflects the light of the tree that was given to me in memory of a dear old friend, Gloria Taylor (the person who gave it called it my “Glo Star” to remember that sweet woman).  During the month we can hear Kermit the Frog sing the rainbow song, the Indiana Jones theme song, and Linus repeat the Christmas story as our children press various buttons on the ornaments with batteries!  What fun are Christmas trees!

We enjoy reading books about Christmas.  One series we have used in recent years explains from a Christian perspective the traditions of the candy cane, the Christmas stocking, the Christmas tree, and the history of Saint Nicholas.  What a rich heritage surrounds Christmas.  I suppose one reason that Christmas is so wonderful is that, whether the world understands it or not, it is as if the modern world adjusts their lives for one month to remember and celebrate what happened at Bethlehem.  You can turn on virtually any radio station – country, rock, classical – and hear people singing about Jesus Christ.   On our CD players we hear The Robert Shaw Chorale singing “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen,” The St. Olaf Choir sing “O Come O Come Emmanuel,” Nat King Cole roll out “The Christmas Song” and “A Cradle in Bethlehem,” Kenny and Dolly frolic and play with “I’ll Be Home with Bells On” Michael Buble croon with “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas,” Alabama share “Christmas in Dixie,” and The Oak Ridge Boys add my children’s favorite from this year – “A Peterbilt Sleigh!” 

People often take time to be friendlier, to show generosity, compassion, and goodwill during December.   People share their goods with the needy and hungry, often purchasing toys or meals for children or families in want.  Church services abound with songs about Jesus, festive lights and colors, and genuine wishes of cheer and blessing to one another.  Dickens also said, I have always thought of Christmas as a good time; a kind, forgiving, generous, pleasant time; a time when men and women seem to open their hearts freely, and so I say, God bless Christmas!

In early December our family celebrates the birthday of our daughter, often by taking a road trip to Lynchburg, Virginia, to experience The Virginia Christmas Spectacular, a fantastic Christmas show at Thomas Road Baptist Church.

Yes, to me it is the most wonderful time of the year.  Charles Dickens wrote, “There seems a magic in the very name of Christmas.”

I enjoy giving.  I often don’t have the money to give the type of gifts through the year that I would like to people I love.  But Christmas offers an opportunity to find ways to express your love and appreciation to those around you.  I find it a great yearly joy to prepare and give those over-the-top presents for my own children and to enjoy their pleasure in them.  (We chuckled happily at our seven-year old falling on the floor as though he were fainting when he saw that Santa had left him not one or two but six Star Wars action figures!)

The few days before and after Christmas offer time to devote almost completely to the family.  For my wife and I, that may be the best gift of all.  To have a few days to spend in almost uninterrupted leisure together – that is surely a taste of heaven on earth.   Each year I am surprised afresh at how little I long for the outside allurements around Christmas.  Email and surfing the internet hold little appeal, I don’t want to spend any more money on anything after the gifts are purchased, there is little pleasure in engaging the outside world of stores, shopping, and the like.  I suppose it is because when you have focused on Jesus and His coming for weeks, when you have given your best to those you love, and when you take time to really enjoy the people around you – that indeed is  a blessed, contented taste of heaven.  Time to play long with the children without feeling the need to "hurry it up."  Time to say, "What do you want to do," and mean it!  Time to get on the floor and engage the children and play with their toys in their world.  Time to talk with your spouse and enjoy the blessings of marriage!

Oswald Chambers rightly says that the real test of spiritual maturity is not how well one does on the mountain but how well he descends the mountain.  As we walk forward with the afterglow of Christmas 2012  on our backs and still ringing in our ears, may we remember the words of Charles Dickens, “I will honor Christmas in my heart and try to keep it all the year.” 

May we remember and live our lives in light of the things that really do matter.

Images used courtesy of Pixabay

 

Hendrix Performs at Liberty University

 

Our son, Rhett Jr. (Hendrix), and his band rocked the house last Saturday evening at Liberty University's coffeehouse held in the Vines Arena. Watch (below) the L Street Band perform "Santa Claus is Coming to Town."

Rhett's Interview with Bob Crittendem - The 7 Ps

 

Here's an interview with me and Bob Crittendem of Faith Radio that recently aired. Bob and I talked about my new book. Click here to listen.

Bob and I talked about the release of my new book, The 7 Ps of Prayer.

Christmas Concert - Rhett and Tracey

 

Tracey and I enjoyed performing last November at Edwards Road Baptist Church in Greenville, South Carolina. You can enjoy our concert by clicking here.

Here’s Why We Should Still Celebrate the Pilgrims at Thanksgiving

 

"For most American families, Thanksgiving is a time to gather with loved ones, eat delicious food, and perhaps watch some football.


But not everyone is pleased with the celebration of this holiday, and some have taken to maligning its 'originators,' the Pilgrims.

An editorial in Al Jazeera labeled Thanksgiving a 'thoroughly nauseating affair,' one that is 'saturated with disgrace.' Other articles have called the Pilgrims genocidal toward Native Americans, or argued that the original idea of a Thanksgiving feast is a 'myth.' ”

Read the entire article by Jarrett Stepman at The Daily Signal here.

Picture used by permission from Pixabay.

Preparing for Thanksgiving

I love the beauty of the leaves as October turns to November, reminding us that autumn is passing and winter approaching.  And it aggravates me every year when the stores try to sell Christmas to us way-too-early.  The pursuit of the dollar tempts us to overlook one of the year’s most important observations: Thanksgiving.
 
Here is one holiday that avoids commercialism, brings people together, offers fantastic food, and calls us to forsake our selfishness and instead practice gratitude.  Don’t lose the spirit of Thanksgiving.  Claim it, prepare for it, and practice the art of that holiday.

As we plan for Thanksgiving this month, here are a few ways to intentionally lead your family to be thankful.

 

Read the entire article, Preparing for Thanksgiving, here.

Thanksgiving in America

 

The tradition introduced by European Americans of Thanksgiving as a time to focus on God and His blessings dates back well over four centuries in America. For example, such thanksgivings occurred in 1541 at Palo Duro Canyon, Texas with Coronado and 1,500 of his men; ¹ in 1564 at St. Augustine, Florida with French Huguenot (Protestant) colonists; ² in 1598 at El Paso, Texas with Juan de Oñate and his expedition; ³ in 1607 at Cape Henry, Virginia with the landing of the Jamestown settlers; ⁴ in 1619 at Berkeley Plantation, Virginia; ⁵ (and many other such celebrations). But it is primarily from the Pilgrim’s Thanksgiving celebration of 1621 that we derive the current tradition of Thanksgiving Day.

The Pilgrims set sail for America on September 6, 1620, and for two months braved the harsh elements of a storm-tossed sea. Upon disembarking at Plymouth Rock, they held a prayer service and then hastily began building shelters; however, unprepared for such a harsh New England winter, nearly half of them died before spring. ⁶ Emerging from that grueling winter, the Pilgrims were surprised when an Indian named Samoset approached them and greeted them in their own language, explaining to them that he had learned English from fishermen and traders. A week later, Samoset returned with a friend named Squanto, who lived with the Pilgrims and accepted their Christian faith. Squanto taught the Pilgrims much about how to live in the New World, and he and Samoset helped forge a long-lasting peace treaty between the Pilgrims and the Wampanoag Indians. Pilgrim Governor William Bradford described Squanto as “a special instrument sent of God for [our] good . . . and never left [us] till he died.” ⁷

That summer, the Pilgrims, still persevering in prayer and assisted by helpful Indians, ⁸ reaped a bountiful harvest. ⁹ As Pilgrim Edward Winslow (later to become the Governor) affirmed, “God be praised, we had a good increase of Indian corn”; “by the goodness of God, we are…far from want.” ¹⁰ The grateful Pilgrims therefore declared a three-day feast in December 1621 to thank God and to celebrate with their Indian friends ¹¹ – America’s first Thanksgiving Festival. Ninety Wampanoag Indians joined the fifty Pilgrims for three days of feasting (which included shellfish, lobsters, turkey, corn bread, berries, deer, and other foods), of play (the young Pilgrim and Wampanoag men engaged in races, wrestling matches, and athletic events), and of prayer. This celebration and its accompanying activities were the origin of the holiday that Americans now celebrate each November.

Check out the entire article by David Barton here at Wallbuilders.

Picture in the Public Domain.

What's the Truth About the First Thanksgiving?

 

The Church's Response to Cohabitation

 

Cohabitation has become a growing trend in recent years in American culture. How can Christians - and the church - think and then act biblically, in a way that honors the Lord, about this trend? Here are a collection of articles and podcasts I've put together from some great Christian thinkers and communicators.

Articles and Podcasts on Cohabitation and Pastoral Ministry

 

Articles

https://www.denisonforum.org/church-leadership/when-a-cohabiting-couple-wants-to-join-your-church/

https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/living-together-before-marriage-how-to-have-a-conversation-with-someone-making-the-wrong-choice/

https://www.christianitytoday.com/women-leaders/2013/october/what-intimate-cohabitation-means-for-ministry.html

https://www.wilsonrhett.com/2023/10/pastoral-policy-on-cohabitation.html

https://www.crosswalk.com/family/marriage/christians-and-cohabitation-what-you-need-to-know.html

https://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/faith/essentials-faith/reaching-out/when-your-friends-are-moving-in-together-before-marriage/

https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/9-things-you-should-know-about-cohabitation-in-america/

https://s3.amazonaws.com/tgc-documents/carson/2010_cohabiting.pdf

https://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/marriage/getting-married/engagements-and-weddings/gods-way-is-always-the-best-way/

https://billygraham.org/answer/why-is-living-together-unmarried-considered-a-sin/

 

Podcasts and Videos

https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/video/wrong-engaged-couples-live-together/

https://biblicalcounseling.com/resource-library/podcast-episodes/til-040-talking-to-couples-who-are-living-together-feat-kevin-carson/

https://www.familylife.com/podcast/familylife-today/cohabitation-good-or-bad/

https://www.familylife.com/podcast/familylife-today/speaking-truth-to-a-culture/

https://www.familylife.com/podcast/familylife-today/cohabitation-the-new-norm/

https://churchanswers.com/podcasts/rainer-on-leadership/six-cultural-pastoral-issues-where-pastors-often-struggle-rainer-on-leadership-542/

https://www.familylife.com/?s=cohabitation

https://www.focusonthefamily.com/episodes/broadcast/gods-blueprint-for-a-healthy-marriage-part-1-of-3/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVpksSumfyM

Picture used courtesy of Pexels

All Saints Day - November 1

Today, November 1, is the church's traditional observance of All Saints Day.  Often lost in our evangelical community, this day has a rich heritage of remembering saints who have gone before us.

Charles Colson shared some great words about All Saints Day in his commentary Honoring the Witnesses:

"In case you’ve missed it before, the name Halloween is a shortening of All Hallows’ Eve and signifies the night before All Saints’ Day. For centuries on All Saints’ Day, the Church celebrated the lives of Christians who went before us. And rightly so: We can learn so much from those whom the author of Hebrews calls that great cloud of witnesses.  

The tradition of remembering the Church triumphant dates back to the time of the first Christian martyrs. When soldiers of Marcus Aurelius Verus came to arrest Polycarp, a beloved church leader, Polycarp greeted them kindly. According to the third-century historian Eusebius, Polycarp “ordered a table to be laid for them immediately, invited them to eat as much as they liked, asking in return a single hour in which he could pray.” When Polycarp later stood in the coliseum, accused and surrounded by the jeering crowds, the governor pressed him to recant his faith. Instead, this man, who himself had been discipled by the Apostle John, said this: 'For 86 years, I have been [Christ’s] servant, and He has never done me wrong: How can I blaspheme my King who saved me?' As they were preparing to burn him alive, Polycarp offered up prayers of faith and praise."  

Read the entire article here at Breakpoint.

Image courtesy of Pexels

Addressing Clergy Mental Health

 

"Mental health includes emotional, psychological, spiritual, and social well-being. It affects how we think and feel, and how we experience the experience of our lives. It is a major factor in our capacity to experience joy in life, work, and relationships. Our mental health determines how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices.

Challenges to the mental health of clergy commonly involve stress and burnout, marriage and family adjustment, and emotional and functional impairment.

Work-related stress and burnout among clergy have been the focus of many studies.

Some research suggests that burnout results from systemic factors including bureaucracy, poor administrative support, and difficult work conditions—ministry is hard, and getting harder. Other intrapersonal-related factors include religious idealism, Type-A personality factors, narcissism, and perfectionism.(4)

In addition, one research found that clergy experience excessive guilt and issues with their families of origin more frequently than other groups.(5)

As a group, pastors also experience social isolation, often extending even to their professional peers.

One study revealed that ministers have higher levels of occupational distress and depression when compared to national averages."

Read the entire article from Columbia Theological Seminary here.

The above article was written by Israel Galindo, Associate Dean for Lifelong Learning at the Columbia Theological Seminary. He directs the Pastoral Excellence Program at Columbia seminary. 

Picture courtesy of Pexels

Pastors Share Top Reasons They’ve Considered Quitting Ministry in the Past Year

 

Stress, Isolation & Political Division Factor into Pastors’ Desire to Quit

"As of March 2022, the percentage of pastors who have considered quitting full-time ministry within the past year sits at 42 percent. This is consistent with data from fall 2021 when Barna first reported on a sharp increase in pastoral burnout, and it confirms the growing number of pastors who are considering resignation—up 13 percentage points from 29 percent in January 2021.

What reasons do pastors give when asked why they’ve thought about stepping down for good? Stress, loneliness and political division are the three items that rise to the surface.

Over half of pastors who have considered quitting full-time ministry (56%) say 'the immense stress of the job' has factored into their thoughts on leaving. Beyond these general stressors, two in five pastors (43%) say 'I feel lonely and isolated,' while 38 percent name 'current political divisions' as reasons they’ve considered stepping away."

Read the entire article by Barna Research here.

Image used courtesy of Pexels

What I Wish I’d Known: Reflections on Nearly 40 Years of Pastoral Ministry

 

"What follows has been adapted from a brief talk I delivered to the Oklahoma chapter of The Gospel Coalition. Here are 10 things I wish I’d known when I first started out as a pastor.

1.     I wish I’d known that people who disagree with me on doctrines I hold dearly can often love God and pursue his glory with as much, and in some cases more, fervency than I do. The sort of intellectual pride that fuels such delusions can be devastating to ministry and will invariably undermine any efforts at broader Christian unity across denominational lines.

2.     I wish I’d known about the inevitable frustration that comes when you put your trust in what you think are good reasons why people should remain loyal to your ministry and present in your church. I wish I’d been prepared for the feelings of betrayal and disillusionment that came when people in whom I’d personally invested so much love, time, and energy simply walked away, often with the most insubstantial and flimsiest of excuses.

3.     I wish I’d known how deeply and incessantly many (most?) people suffer. Having been raised in a truly functional family in which everyone knew Christ and loved one another, I was largely oblivious to the pain endured by most people who’ve never known that blessing. For too many years I naively assumed that if I wasn’t hurting, neither were they. I wish I’d realized the pulpit isn’t a place to hide from the problems and pain of one’s congregation; it’s a place to address, commiserate with, and apply God’s Word to them."

Read the entire article by Sam Storms here at The Gospel Coalition.

Image used courtesy of Pexels

10 Ways to Encourage Your Pastor

 

Pastoring a church is not an easy job. Here are 10 ways you can encourage your pastor (or pastors):

1. THANK HIM (OR THEM).

It’s not easy to preach every week. It’s not easy to carry the burden of ministry every day. A pastor rarely hears “thank you.” A good pastor isn’t in the ministry for a thank you from the congregation. They are not after man’s approval but work for God’s approval (Gal. 1:10). They shepherd as one who will give account to God (Heb. 13:17). But a thank you can go a long way. Pastors, like nearly everyone, are severely under-encouraged. My guess is you appreciate the work he does. Tell him so.

One practical way: Write him a letter. Emails usually include a criticism. Handwritten letters nearly always include encouragement. Letters also have a way of sticking around for a while. Emails get buried quickly. Letters are sweet reminders on the desktop after a long, hard day of ministry.

2. BE SPECIFIC IN YOUR THANKS.

A general “thank you” is more than what many pastors hear week after week, but a specific thank you is life-giving. Find one phrase or thought or action and thank him. Specificity implies gratefulness. If a phrase from his sermon last week stuck with you, let him know. Lots of pastors hear very little specific feedback on their sermon. Imagine spending hours each week to prepare something and never know how it lands on the people you’re speaking to.

Read the entire article by David McClemore here at The Baptist Courier here.

Image used by permission from Adobe Stock

Why Honor My Pastor?

The following article, written in 2014, has been one of my most-viewed posts through the years.

Dick Lincoln once said, "Church at its best is as good as it gets, and church at its worst is as bad as it gets."  No one understands this reality more than pastors and their families.

Every October I consider writing a post about Pastor Appreciation Month.  However, being a pastor, it seems awkward.  John MacArthur said it well when teaching his church about honoring pastor-elders, "I feel a little bit awkward up here telling you that you need to honor elders of which I am one. Obviously I could be accused of a conflict of interests and I could also be accused of having a self-serving motive. So I want to put in an immediate disclaimer on any of those things. I'm trying to teach you the Word of God."

I will bite the bullet this year and write a post with the hope of eventually providing encouragement to some man of God out there serving his church.  Hopefully, persons from other congregations will read it and the article will spur them on toward love and good deeds toward their pastors.

Read the entire article here.

Pastoral Policy on Cohabitation

 

The social trend of cohabitation before - or instead of - marriage is a growing trend in North America. I reached out to an older pastor friend of mine whom I respect to ask how he responds to cohabiting couples in his congregations. The following is his response:

The policy that I have used and what I each that I am asked this question is:

1. I share the biblical truths on marriage and sexual purity with the couple in a private session with them both present. 

 

2. I don’t ask for a response from the couple in that session but ask them to study the scriptures that reviewed in that session and to spend a week in prayer but privately and together seeking God as to His will for marriage 

 

3.  I meet with them for a second time to discuss what decision they have made based upon their time praying, studying the scriptures and discussions. 

 

4. If they agree to marry I then move into that discussion 

5. If they don’t agree to marry then I share that they are welcome to participate in the life of the church and worship but that they cannot join as members. 

Listen to Cohabitation: Good or Bad with Glenn Stanton

Hear Talking to Couples Who Are Living Together with Kevin Carson

Picture used courtesy of Pexels