My five-year
old son developed a habit of lying, and I was determined to stop it! After numerous attempts at spanking as punishment,
I wanted a creative approach to discipline.
Surely there was something I could do to nip this in the bud.
Finally, I
devised my plan. One year earlier,
Hendrix became interested in the Star Wars movies. One of his treasured possessions was my old
collection of Star Wars action figures. He
thought they were gold.
I decided
that when he lied, he needed to feel pain in an area that mattered to him. So, the new rule would be that he loses one
action figure for every lie told. One
evening when he and I were home alone I initiated what I thought was the
perfect tactic of creative discipline.
Hendrix told a lie, and I instructed him to bring me one Star Wars man
and meet me in the kitchen. He listened
to my speech about the destructive nature of lies. Then, I proceeded to heat up the frying
pan. I told my son that what I was about
to do to his action figure would illustrate what lies do when they are
told. Hendrix and I watched as Han Solo
slowly melted away until all that was left was a puddle of oozing plastic goo.
In my mind I
thought, “What a great plan. The little
guy will remember this forever. This may
just break the pattern of lies tonight.
James Dobson and Kevin Leman will probably feature this idea in one of
their books.” I looked up at Hendrix, expecting
him to break into uncontrollable sobs, wailing, “Daddy, I will never lie again! I have learned my lesson!”
Instead,
Hendrix, who had not taken his eyes off of the frying pan, flashed his bright
eyes at mine and excitedly asked, “Can we do another one, Daddy?” So much for creative discipline.
Children
catch many of life’s values as we model them in life – not as we plan the
perfect lesson with a frying pan.
Several years after the Han Solo incident our family experienced an
object lesson in integrity and truth-telling that Hendrix still remembers. Vacationing
in Pigeon Forge, we ate supper at one of the infamous pancake houses. The restaurant had a large, separate foyer and
gift shop where people paid for their meal.
After eating, we left the dining room and waited for several minutes in
the unattended foyer. My children began
looking at some pocket knives for sale.
Finally, a manager entered. He
apologized for the delay and said, “Thank you for your honesty. You have no idea how many people in your
situation just leave the store and do not pay.”
Then, seeing Hendrix looking at the pocket knife, he said, “Please, you
all may have the pocket knife at no charge.
That is my way of saying thank you for being honest.”
Today, my
family still has that knife with “Pigeon Forge” carved on its side. And occasionally, one of the children will
say, “That is the knife the man gave us because we were honest.” That small knife reminds us of the importance
of integrity.
Here are
some practical ways we can work at instilling integrity in our children.
Explain what integrity means
Teach
children that integrity means to be the same on the inside as you claim to be
on the outside. The word is associated
with the testing of metals. Some rings
are gold-plated. Others are solid gold
all the way through. God wants us to be
the real deal.
Read and memorize key verses
During
mealtimes or family devotions, review Bible texts about the importance of
truth-telling. Some examples are
Proverbs 12:19, Ephesians 4:15 & 25, John 8:44, John 14:6.
Read stories about people of
integrity
As a family, read age-appropriate books or listen to radio theater stories of people with integrity (Gladys Aylward, Corrie ten Boom, and George Muller for example). Then discuss lessons from their lives. Also recommended are William Bennett’s The Children’s Book of Virtues and The Children’s Book of Heroes. Three excellent sources for high quality radio theater are Lamplighter Theater, Adventures in Odyssey, and Focus on the Family's Radio Theater. Our family has enjoyed dozens of hours the past several years with fabulous radio theater dramas!
Jesus is in the room
We try to
teach our children that we always live in God’s presence. At times we will say, “I need you to answer
me with Jesus standing in the room with us.”
Sour tongue
When
children do lie, take a small dab of vinegar and put it on their tongue. We call this “sour tongue.” The awful taste reminds them of how lies
taste to God.
Model honesty and integrity
No better
training exists than Dad and Mom living lives worth replicating before their
children. Those little ones see us day
in and day out. Remember, they catch
what we do and say – and what we don’t.
May our
children find us to be people of integrity – the real deal on the inside.
Pictures used by permission from Pixabay and Pexels.
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