Happy Fall, Y'all!

Quote of the Day

Walking on water is easy to someone with impulsive boldness, but walking on dry land as a disciple of Jesus Christ is something altogether different. Peter walked on the water to go to Jesus, but he “followed Him at a distance” on dry land (Mark 14:54). We do not need the grace of God to withstand crises— human nature and pride are sufficient for us to face the stress and strain magnificently. But it does require the supernatural grace of God to live twenty-four hours of every day as a saint, going through drudgery, and living an ordinary, unnoticed, and ignored existence as a disciple of Jesus. It is ingrained in us that we have to do exceptional things for God— but we do not. We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things of life, and holy on the ordinary streets, among ordinary people— and this is not learned in five minutes. 

- Oswald Chambers

Gone Too Soon

My world shook last week.

One morning, I received an email:  “I thought you should know that Jack Handy (name changed) committed suicide yesterday.”  

Inwardly I groaned.  Outwardly I cried – not the kind of tears you shed at a sweet moment in a movie and secretly hope your wife and children did not see you.  I wept and sobbed.

Jack was one of my first friends at Presbyterian College my freshman year.  Like many students, we had lots of fun.  Remembering Jack makes me recall laughter, enthusiasm, silly times, and lots of good food.  We also shared meaningful moments, like meeting in his Bailey Dorm room late at night with one or two friends, sharing Bible verses, encouraging each other, and ending the day by getting on our knees and praying for each other by name.

Through the years, I discovered you don’t have a host of people who will get on their knees with you and pray for you by name.  The bond you feel with those folks never really ends.  It just gets buried sometimes.

One Saturday, I, Jack and another friend decided to go camping in the late fall.  Like fools, or freshmen, we took sleeping bags but no tent.  That night upstate South Carolina enjoyed her first freeze of the season.  After a chilly night, our other friend had burn marks on his sleeping bag from staying so close to the campfire.

Before we left college, Jack began struggling with depression and a mental disorder.  This bright, energetic, respected young man started a long journey with internal struggles.  His friends prayed for him.  Numerous ones spent hours talking with him, listening, and offering encouragement.

Graduation came, and we took different paths.  I attended his wedding about fifteen years ago.  It was fantastic to see him so happy that day.

Life moved on and so did we, not staying in touch well.  He graduated from medical school.  I heard through the years that he and his wife had two boys. 

The email stated, “He struggled for a long time with depression and a mental disorder, and he finally took his life.”  

Suddenly, memories, conversations, and experiences buried under more than twenty years of life unearthed.  I remembered the feel of his handshake, the glitter in his eye when he smiled, and the bright, winsome spirit.

Questions plagued me.  “When was the last time I prayed for him?  What if I had reached out to him?”  Then came the reality that the time for such things was over.

At his funeral, the pastor rightly declared, “Jack is now free from his struggle.”  Yes indeed.  I think that in eternity, free from the shackles of this earth, the best qualities of our lives, personalities, and spirits are free to soar.  

Jack knew Christ.  He trusted Christ’s death on the cross for the forgiveness of his sins.  He invited Christ to be his Lord, indwelling him.  I know today nothing – not even suicide – is able to snatch Jack out of Christ’s hand (John 10:27).

I rejoice that Jack is free from his pain.  I grieve for the wife, sons, and parents he leaves behind.  And I wish I had called him the last several years and told him I loved, missed, and respected him, and asked him, “How can I pray for you, old friend?”

Some opportunities slip through our hands.  

Thank God that no one can snatch us out of His.

Author’s Note: A good resource to offer people struggling with the aftermath of suicide is Frank Page’s Melissa:A Father’s Lessons from a Daughter’s Suicide.

Opportunities

Home Training

The Home: Training for a Lifetime of Trusting God

How much it would please God if our theology came alive in our kitchens and bedrooms and backyards – the places where we spend time together.  Life and doctrine in a gospel-centered home.  A place where Scripture, in all its depth and richness, is believed and lived anew each day.  Where Christians are formed and reformed daily, where those who have yet to believe can see the influence of the Lord Jesus, morning and evening.  – Peter Schemm, Jr.

FOUNDATIONS OF THE THEOLOGY OF FAMILY

1.      God created man and woman in His image (Ge. 1:27).

2.      God blessed man and woman with the gifts of marriage, sex, and family (Ge. 1:28; 2:24).

3.      God gave parents the primary role of spiritually discipling their children (Dt. 6:4-9).

4.      God calls husbands to love and serve their wives and calls wives to submit to and respect their husbands (Eph. 5:21-33).

5.      God’s design is for marriage to be lifelong (Mal. 2:16).

6.      God wants to use our families to reflect Him and bear godly offspring (2 Cor. 5:20; ML. 2:15).

7.      God’s design is for families to unite and partner with the local church for the mutual purpose of evangelism and discipleship (He. 10:24-25; Gal. 6:1-2).

HABITS OF A GOSPEL-CENTERED HOUSEHOLD

Spiritual habits and disciplines are hollow apart from a genuine love and affection for Jesus Christ.  They tend to take on a “new bondage” if not.  The spirit of the Christian household is inspired by the love of God.  It is a disposition that consistently reflects God’s love through grace and forgiveness.  Our disciplines become a good means to a greater end.  The spirit of the Christian household is a spirit of redemption.

1.      Reading the Scriptures together. 

·         Scripture is the most important source for training.  The primary means of Christian formation.

·         Bonhoeffer taught that reading Scripture must be foundational to life in community.  A child hears and learns the Bible for the first time in family worship, the adult Christian learns it repeatedly and better, and he will never finish acquiring knowledge of its story. 

On the importance of systematic reading of chapters of the Bible . . .We must admit that the Scriptures are still largely unknown to us.  Can the realization of our ignorance of the Word of God have any other consequence than that we should earnestly and faithfully retrieve what was lost?

·         Reading Scripture must always be a priority in the Christian household – no matter what age a believer is, seven or seventy.

·         Read it regularly together – not necessarily daily but consistently.

·         Make it a goal for the habit of Scripture reading is “life together under the Word.”

2.      Practice catechesis together – formally or informally.

	A central part of the spiritual journey is to provide leadership for the family.  Quality leadership demands quality time together.    – Jerry Falwell

You have three priorities: teach, teach, and teach.  Evangelical churches are weaker than we realize because we don’t understand the confessions and doctrine.  Set new standards in teaching.  Understand the word “catechesis” and practice that art.  – J. I. Packer to pastors

A catechism is a summary of Christian doctrine put in the form of questions and answers.

One excellent catechism resource is

3.      Talking at the table together – the family table.

Perhaps the most underrated means to forming one another in Christ the family table.  Sharing a meal together as a family has fallen on hard times, and we are suffering the consequences.  Recover one of the most basic, most ancient ways of sharing life together – eating together dailiy – as a means of spiritual formation in the Christian household.

Martin Luther called meaningful conversation over a meal as “table talk.”

Some of Jesus’ most important conversations took place around a table – looking at each other, eye to eye, and eating together (Mt. 26:17-29; Mk. 14:12-26; Lk. 22:7-23; 24:13-35; Ex. 12; Rev. 19).

Our conversation in table-talk may vary from the mundane to the profound.  Talk about the weather and the big game.  Talk also about the gospel and repentance and God’s faithfulness.  It should not seem awkward or out of place when we talk about weighty and substantive things.  If it does seem awkward, that probably reflects the absence of regular, meaningful conversations.  Here are some questions that may help us to form one another at the Family Table:

What was your day like?                           What were the highlights of today?

What was hard for you today?                  How did God take care of you today?

How can I pray for you today?                 How can we serve and honor each other this week?

Here is what I read in my time with God today.  What did you read or learn from God? 

4.         Declare His wonders to your children (Ps. 71:17-18).

It’s the personalizing of what the Lord has done for us that really carried impact and weight with our kids.  When wisdom from the Bible can be paralleled with a parent’s personal testimony – it registers biblical truth for a child in a way that nothing else can.  Telling your family’s tribal stories to your kids makes the work of God active and alive to them and helps them recognize that His blessings are available today.  – Jack Hayford

a)      Tell your children how the Lord saved you (Ex. 12:24-27).

b)      Tell your children about the Lord’s provision for you (Ex. 16:32).

c)      Tell your children how you’ve failed but the Lord forgave you (Nu. 16:38).

d)     Tell your children how God has guided you (Jo. 4:5-7).

e)      Tell your children how God has delivered you (Est. 9:26-28).

f)       Tell your children about God’s judgment and mercy (Joel 1:2-4).

5.         Speak blessings on your children (Prov. 18:21; Nu. 6:24-26).

We can bless through an arm over the shoulder, an embrace in a time of disappointment, a pat on the back, a whisper in the ear, a snug tucking in bed, or a kiss on the cheek.  However, the most affirming are spoken blessings.  Words that affirm and approve, words that compliment, words that speak love and affection, words that give hope and confidence, words that answer pain and disappointment with support and faith.  Life is transmitted through spoken blessings!

Why Honor My Pastor?

It surprised me recently to discover that in my blogging the past several years, the post read by the most people was one I wrote last year about Pastor Appreciation Month called Why Honor My Pastor?

That encouraged me.  My purpose in writing the post was to cause some pastors somewhere to be encouraged by their people.

The following is the beginning of the article:

Dick Lincoln once said, "Church at its best is as good as it gets, and church at its worst is as bad as it gets."  No one understands this reality more than pastors and their families.

Every October I consider writing a post about Pastor Appreciation Month.  However, being a pastor, it seems awkward.  John MacArthur said it well when teaching his church about honoring pastor-elders, "I feel a little bit awkward up here telling you that you need to honor elders of which I am one. Obviously I could be accused of a conflict of interests and I could also be accused of having a self-serving motive. So I want to put in an immediate disclaimer on any of those things. I'm trying to teach you the Word of God."

I will bite the bullet this year and write a post with the hope of eventually providing encouragement to some man of God out there serving his church.  Hopefully, persons from other congregations will read it and the article will spur them on toward love and good deeds toward their pastors.

Read the entire article, Why Honor My Pastor, here.


I will set this article to run all month at the top of the list in honor of Pastor Appreciation Month.

Daddy Preaching

Here is my Dawson's picture of me preaching that he drew Sunday morning.

Remember to Pray for Your Pastor

For years, October has been designated in the evangelical community as Pastor Appreciation Month.  Focus on the Family began the emphasis as a means for churches to honor and encourage their pastors.

Pastors and their families need encouragers and supporters in their lives.  I hope you pray for your pastor by name daily.  When secular business and leadership guru Peter Drucker was asked what were the most difficult jobs in America, he responded: (1) President of the United States, (2) President of a college or university, and (3) Pastor of a local congregation. 

All three of those jobs deal with the stress of the changing expectations, often emotionally charged, of their people. 

I heard two different men speak who were both former CEO's of Fortune 500 companies that left the business world to become pastors.  In unrelated conversations they said that pastoring a church was definitely harder than leading a Fortune 500 company.  Interestingly, both men in unrelated interviews cited the same reason: In a company you have employees that must do what you tell them to do.  In a church, 90% or more of your work-force are volunteers.

Charles Finney, accomplished evangelist of another era, experienced amazing conversions during his preaching ministry.  A lesser-known fact is that Daniel Nash, a godly, praying man, covenanted to pray hard for Finney's ministry.  Nash would often go into a town several weeks prior to Finney's arrival.  His purpose was to being praying for God to be at work when Finney arrived. 

Would to God that every pastor, evangelist, or missionary had a Daniel Nash!  One account said, Charles Finney so realized the need of God's working in all his service that he was wont to send godly Father Nash on in advance to pray down the power of God into the meetings which he was about to hold.

Missiologist, professor, and former pastor Chuck Lawless posted an article last week called "Why I’d Be Hesitant to Go Back to the Pastorate."  Hopefully, reading it will give you some motivation to pray for your pastor and his family daily:

"Some months ago, I posted on 8 Reasons I’d Love to be a Pastor Again. Since that time, I’ve had folks ask if I’d post something on the opposite: “Why I Would Not Return to the Pastorate.” I’ve given that topic considerable thought, and to be honest, I can think of no reason why I would absolutely not return to that role.

On the other hand, I can think of some reasons I might at least hesitate.  So, to respond to the request for my reverse thoughts, here goes:

1. Church folks can be a headache.  So can folks in any ministry setting, of course, but the pastorate usually means you’re dealing with the headaches recurrently.  Too often, overcoming the headache requires somebody’s leaving.

Read the entire article by Chuck Lawless here.

You Always Have Another Option

The wind was knocked out of my sails today when I received news that one of my college buddies had taken his life Thursday night.  We shared  many fun and memorable times way back when.  I well remember, he, me, and another friend meeting many nights in Bailey Dorm at Presbyterian College about 10:30 pm to get on our knees together for a few minutes, share a few Scriptures, encourage one another, and pray.  He was a bright, winsome young man.  Sadly, he battled depression and OCD the past 20 years.

In the past month, I have heard of three 40-something year old men committing suicide in the upstate.  One was a Baptist pastor from the South Carolina upstate who hung himself in the church.  The second was the son of one of my mom's good friends, who told my mom in between sobs, "This is not supposed to happen."   And now the third was my friend.  All three men leave wives and children behind.

Every Friday I receive an email from Dan Miller, popular Christian motivator, writer, and speaker.  Today's email was called You always have another option.  In it he shares a great story that reminds us that even when things look bleak, there are still other options.

Through the years I have appreciated people - particularly those in church leadership - who, when problems arise, act more like Tigger than Eeyore in the Winnie the Pooh world.  Eeyores get depressed by the problems and seem to give up.  They stay defeated and overwhelmed.  Tiggers, however,  start figuring out "how do we fix this problem and move on" and come up with solutions.  Sometimes those solutions seem hidden at first.  But the creative mind keeps thinking, praying, and looking.

Sometimes this even shows up in praying.  Eeyores will start their praying with the problems and seem to never get above the obstacles during their praying.  They sigh and groan and stay in the dumps.

Tiggers are more likely to start their prayers with God - focusing their eyes on Him - and seeing God as larger than the problem.  This is what Jehoshaphat did in 2 Chronicles 20:6-12 when faced with a tremendous problem - he starts his long prayer praising God and focusing on God's good qualities.  He remembered that "it is God who looms large and not man."

Hudson Taylor, veteran missionary to China, was once told their treasury was down to ten cents.  Taylor responded, "We have ten cents and all of the promises of God!"

Another time he learned they were almost out of money and food.  His cook asked, "What shall we do when we run out?"  Taylor aptly replied, "Well, ma'am, we shall 'Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and feed on His faithfulness,' " which is a direct quotation from Psalm 37.

Suicide shows the ultimate Eeyore reasoning - "there is no way out of this mess.  I may as well give up."

Remember, even when things look bleak, instead of giving into despair, you always have another option.  Sometimes we just haven't seen it yet.

I encourage you to read Dan's short story here.

You Have a Work to Do

The following article I wrote about persevering and embracing your God-given skills appears today on the Almost an Author blog:

We all sometimes wonder why we write.

Nagging doubts and questions invade our minds:

“No one wants to read what you write. You are a nobody.”

“You will never be as good as John Grisham, or Jerry Jenkins, or Alton Gansky.”

“The time you spend writing and learning to write could be spent in more beneficial ways.”

Similar thoughts probably bombarded Susan about her singing. Bullied as a child and called “Susie Simple” at school, she knew the sting of rejection. Her homely appearance and humble beginnings caused many people to question her worthiness. But Susan knew that she could sing.

Read the entire article here at the Almost an Author site.

Quotation of the Day

If we live for the hope of seeing significant days in life, we’ll toss in the towel.  The gaps are simply too long.  We need a different goal: faithfulness rather than significance.  Pascal wrote, “The strength of a man’s virtue must not be measured by his efforts, but by his ordinary life.”  If the Lord chooses to make a day significant, that’s great.  But that’s his business.  Significant days are God’s to ordain.  Most of life is lived in the gaps between great moments. 

- Wayne Stiles, Waiting on God

A Shocking Realization

The following article appears in today's edition of The Clinton Chronicle.

When my oldest son Hendrix turned nine, a sad realization shocked me. One-half of the time I had with him between birth and age eighteen was behind us. We sat at the crest of the hill. For every day ahead, we’d be moving downhill with more days behind us than before us. 

As a naturally nostalgic person, that hit me hard. I didn’t like it. My wife and I loved the preschool and early-elementary school years. Jim Croce wrote, “If I could save time in a bottle . . . .”  Well, if I could have frozen our family in the preschool and early-elementary years, it would have been worth a million dollars to me.

But time waits for no person, and Hendrix was not going to stay young forever for me. Shortly after his birthday while just the two of us drove in my car, I said, “Son, do you know something? You have just turned nine years old. That means that between your birth and when you turn eighteen and finish high school, we are at the halfway point.  We have nine years behind us and nine ahead.”

He smiled.

“The first nine years my goal was to help you be a healthy and happy boy. I tried to be a good dad to help you have a good, healthy childhood. But do you know what my goal has to be the next nine years?”

He said no.

“The next nine years, my goal is to help you become a man.  I have nine years left to help you become a godly, wise, and responsible young man. ”

He smiled again, excited with the challenge.

That means my goal is not that he just have fun, or get everything he wants, or have little responsibility, or receive endless cash and perks from Dad. It may mean I say, “No, I can’t buy you that, son–but you can work for it, save your own money, and one day purchase it yourself.”

It means that I am not primarily his buddy, but his father. It means at times I say, “I know you don’t understand why I won’t let you do that even though some of your friends do. But I don’t think it is best for you.” It means the end result is worth the years of preparation, discipline, and duty.

Last year he turned fourteen. Preschool toys have been traded for guitars, drums, and Itune gift cards. Though I do miss the days of Smurfs, tea parties, and good-night kisses, I enjoy the slow transformation of the boy becoming a man. What a privilege to walk with him, intentionally helping him make that transition.

What a joy when another man comes to me and says, “I just had a wonderful conversation with your oldest son. He was so polite, courteous, and is such a responsible young man.  I want my daughters to be around young men like him.”

Sadly, we live in a generation when many men in their twenties and thirties are still little boys in men’s bodies. With the video-game generation has come a tendency toward immaturity and self-centered living.

Fathers, we have a responsibility to be intentional in our parenting.

Let’s see the goal, discern the importance of the task, and step up to the plate and engage our children, helping them to become the adults God intends them to be.